Copyright © 2025 ShadowView Ministries, All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or distributed without permission.
This book is an invitation. Not a shortcut. Not a checklist.
2 – Why This Book Exists
I almost didn’t publish this. There are so many books on relationships. But I couldn’t find this book — a how-to guide to walk me through each phase, and to victory. If you’re reading this, you likely feel like you’re living in a dark series of tunnels with no way out. But by picking up this book, for yourself or someone you love, you’ve set hope into motion. It is the trail of breadcrumbs I left, exiting my own darkness, my markers from relational abuse to abundant life. You do not need to decide anything today. Not about your marriage. Not about your future. Not about your next step. This book is not about leaving or staying. It is about clarity, safety, dignity, and truth — wherever that truth leads.
But before another word, there are a few things you must know.
1 You are worth it. If you’re the only person who ever reads this, you are worth every hour it took to write. You are worth it to me. And even more, you are worth it to God. You are not imagining things. Confusion, exhaustion, and self‑doubt are common symptoms of living in chaos.
2 This is a treacherous road. This isn’t a pair of ruby red slippers. It’s not “3 Steps to Easy Happiness.” But I can promise you: Adventure awaits. There are Treasures to be found — ones you likely missed on your way into the maze. But you are not alone. Many women have walked this road. We are not the first, and you are not walking it without support. In the appendix additional resources will open.
3 How this book is laid out. There are 10 major steps i They’re not “turn left, then turn right” kind of steps. Some I call “Steps in the Dark.” Others, “Steps in the Light.” You’ll set your own pace. You’re about to become the co-author of your own story. You will not be asked to be brave yet. You will be asked to be aware. And this book will never ask you to take a step you are not ready for.
4 Safety Warning. Some chapters in this book involve boundary‑setting, confrontation, and emotional shifts that can be unsafe if attempted too early. Please do not attempt any new boundaries, confrontations, or major relational changes until you have completed the preparation steps in Part I. Your safety — and the safety of your children — must come first.
4 Who This Is For. I’m writing as though you’re reading this for yourself. The woman or man who’s been in the pit. In their own home. Praying for help. If you’re reading to understand a loved one’s pain — I’m glad you’re here too.
5 How Long Will It Take? It took me years. But it could’ve been faster. Your speed depends on how quickly you learn and apply. The more courage and trust you have, the faster you’ll reach abundant life. Others around you may affect the pace — but less than you think. Still, let’s not rush. This is a long-distance run. We’ll pace ourselves. Step carefully. Conserve our air.
Let’s Begin
Let’s start by taking a look at Hagar’s story.
Message Copilot
